Mombasa!

Friday 27.01.11

Part 1

AARRRGGGHHHH!! 

THIS IS KENYA ALRIGHT!!

Okay, so Friday the 27th January 2011 is shaping out to be the worst day this year - and probably will be!  The day starts off fine, waking up at dawn to pack and meet Olympas for a walk down to Lake Nakuru National Park.  We climbed over the outer fence but stayed outside of the electric fence for obvious reasons!  We managed to see a buffalo quite close to the fence and other than that it was nice to just chill out with Olympus.  As much as a sucker he is for a good business deal, he is a great guy with great english and also a good sense of humour which I have discovered is not common in Kenya!

And then all hell broke loose.  The hire car, complete with driver, was due to arrive at 8:30am, but of course arrived at 10am, along with a second car full of company staff.  I am still unsure as to why they came to see us off!  Tammi and I had hired the largest car the company had, and of course they arrived with a smaller one.  At the time we decided to hire the car, we were under the impression that it would be only her and myself plus the driver and all of our luggage.  The Mel and Kim asked if they could come with us to Nairobi and catch the bus the rest of the way to Mombasa to make room for the extra things we were picking up in Nairobi.  Of course, we agreed, thinking there would be plenty of room in the large car we had booked.

This morning it quickly became clear that we were going to struggle to all fit - if at all!  After packing and repacking for half an hour we finally managed to get everyone in.  At this stage someone pointed out that the Mombasa bus was leaving from Nairobi in 2 hours, with Nairobi being two and a half hours drive.  So car full, we set off - me in front seat with a box and a bag at my feet, two bags on my lap and two more bags squeezed between me and the driver; Mel with Natalie on her knee and a bag at her feet; Kim with a bag at his feet and the biggest box ever on his knee; and Tammi squeezed in the middle with a bag on her lap and her head holding a bag from falling on top of her from the back.

After leaving Olympus’ place, we headed left into Nakuru, rather than right towards Nairobi.  At this point we became pretty annoyed, only to see that we were following the staff car that had arrived with our car.  We asked the driver what we were doing and he said we had to go to the office to discuss some things.  Of course we were not impressed as we were on a tight schedule.  Nevertheless, we proceeded without much say in the matter.  Once at the office the staff demanded we pay for the return fuel for the car from Mombasa, even though we had been assured upon booking that we would not need to do this.  Having little options at this stage we were forced to comply, which was probably the plan all along.  Of course wait until we are all in and out stuff is all packed!

Finally Nairobi bound at about 10:30am we soon realised we were in for a very hot, sticky, uncomfortable ride with a very inattentive driver!  About twenty minutes from Nairobi I got some sort of a pinched nerve or something in my back and could not sit still for more than ten seconds, cursing the rest of the trip!  After our driver ran into another car and got out to inspect the damage, I was about ready to get out and walk the rest of the way!

After a further half hour of traffic in one street alone, we arrive at the bus station.  Of course, just as we pull up the Mombasa bus is pulling out so we missed it by perhaps a minute or less.  After fifteen minutes of waiting around Mel and Kim manage to find another bus.  Without Mel and Kim in the car we now realise that the driver’s english is particularly BASIC!  We spend the next ten minutes trying to explain to the driver that we are free to go as the others are getting the bus, and finally think he has understood us when he starts the car and begins to move forward.  Then he turns off the car and it becomes apparent he was only moving to let a bus in.  After five more minutes and some rusty swahili “twende, twende!” meaning “go, go!” we are on our way.

We then pick up some random local it appears, whose purpose is to guide the driver around town, which of course we have to pay for!  We arrive at Khweza and pack the car with our remaining bags that we had left behind last week.  At this stage the car is literally overflowing and there is just enough room for one person in the back seat.  As Tammi and I pile in, we notice our guide has not yet left us and is also trying to climb in.  Apparently he is to direct us on to the Mombasa highway.  So Tammi and I climb in to the back seat, me on top of her in the fetal position, as there is bags on the floor so no room for legs!

After a remarkably uncomfortable ride, but somehow not as much as the trip from Nakuru, we let the man out and we are on our way.  Highway driving is even crazier than city driving and it is one constant battle for your lane of the road.  There is either an overtaking vehicle coming from the opposite direction in your lane or trucks trying to turn the one lane into two or three and drive and dive and overtake and slam on brakes all over the place.  And nothing is done gradually - cruising is at full speed right until you are about to run up the back of a truck, then the brakes are slammed on, then you creep out to see if any traffic is coming, slamming on the brakes again when there is.  When it’s finally clear you shoot past, only to slam on the brakes again when you are back in your lane.

In every small town or roadside village there are very sever rumble strips or speed bumps across the highway, one would assume with the aim of slowing down traffic, but apparently not!  As I am typing this we hit one doing 90km/h.  I am pretty sire that was an accident on the driver’s behalf, but you never know.  At this point, all the luggage you have tried so hard to pack in effectively, tumbles into your face, legs and onto your keyboard and it takes the next ten minutes to wriggle around in your seat trying to put everything back.

At one point we are pulled over the police for speeding, as far as we can make out from the mumbled swahili discussions.  The driver is finally let go from interrogation and we are on our way after paying a 500 shilling ($6.50) bribe and the next few minutes is spent listening to complaints about police corruption in Kenya.  Shortly after this, the driver starts yawning very obviously eery few minutes, asking “you know how to drive?”.  Not feeling comfortable enough to sleep due to the possibility that our driver will also fall asleep, I spend the next few hours looking at the beautiful scenery, which ranges from hills to mountains to swamps and forests and upside down trucks in ditches - and soon the coast!

We make a stop at one stage for a drink, only to be informed by the stall holders that there is no electricity and hence no cold drinks so I settle for a warm juice ewww!  As we are purchasing our drinks we realise we have not yet had lunch and should look for some food, only to see our driver wandering along the stalls.  Panicking that our car is unattended and unlocked with who knows how much cash, cameras and laptops onboard I rush to the vehicle expecting to find it safely locked and my overreaction embarrassing.  But of course, it is parked on the shoulder with street traders wandering around looking in the open windows contemplating what to steal first!  At this point the driver returns to the car, informing me that it will soon be my time to drive.

________

Part 2

As we near the end of our trip (or so the driver assures us for the tenth time “just one more hour, one more hour”) I have just about had enough!  About an hour ago we were run off the road thanks to a truck that was waaaaaay over-committed to a passing move and would not move out of our lane.  We ended up in the ditch at the weirdest angle and all I could think was to grab my laptop so when we rolled it didn’t fly everywhere and “did Tammi put her seatbelt on?”.

Somehow, possibly dust flying through the open windows, we have become so muddy and dusty that as I type my sweaty hands are leaving mud all over the keyboard - gross!  My face is so caked with dust that every time I wipe my eyes I spend the next ten minutes blinking furiously, trying to clear the dust.  I look like I have just walked out of a dust storm and my clothes are filthy!

Our driver keeps laughing at random english words he hears us saying and repeats only the strangest phrases that I am sure he would never have come across before, so he must be trying to remember them for later use or to tell friends!

Tammi has made a few phone calls in the last couple of hours and we have come to realise that we have no idea where her new house actually is, so that’s going to be difficult to explain to the driver when it comes time to drop us off.  We have also learnt that the house is actually not ready for tenants, despite repeated assurances that it was.  So to top off our awesomely awful day we are arriving at the house at about 10pm (provided we actually find it) with no mattresses, blankets or towels.  So we need to go straight down to the Nakumatt supermarket (if we can find a taxi) and buy that stuff plus some water.  Oh did I mention that the water, gas and electricity is not connected yet either?  So that means no shower, toilet, or Melvin for hot food either!

_____________

Part 3

We finally arrived at Mombasa and spent the next 40 minutes looking for the house as Tammi had only been there once, during day time.  We finally arrived at 11:30pm and of course the driver again tried to rip us off by charging more than we had agreed.  We quickly threw all our things inside, where there was power to the two central lounge rooms only.  We then headed into town on a motorbike to the Nakumatt 24 hour supermarket, which is conveniently a few minutes up the road.  We managed to get mattresses, mosquito nets, towels and some other necessities before heading home at 1am!  We set up our beds and had a sponge bath with bottled water from the shop - how wasteful!  But we were desperate and it was so refreshing, at least for the 2.15 seconds before I dried again.

It is unbelievably warm and humid here, and you can feel the salt on your skin.  It is sticky and yukky, but I will probably get used to it - hopefully!  It made for an uncomfortable sleep but at 2:30am I finally made it to bed!